


Too Good At Goodbyes

by Yoan_Amara



Series: Love Song Series [5]
Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: F/M, Grieving Moment, Soo-Won Centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 06:34:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15551781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoan_Amara/pseuds/Yoan_Amara
Summary: Take place within chapter 109. After the meeting with general An Joon Gi is over, at night Soo Won remember after Joo Doh mentioned ‘the girl in Awa’, Geun Tae constantly pushing Soo Won to met the girl in Awa and wanted to find that girl if the King desires her. Soo Won then reflects his feeling towards Yona, remember of his encounter with her in Awa and in Water tribe. Soo Won centric.





	Too Good At Goodbyes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [farrah87](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=farrah87).



After his meeting with General An Joon Gi has ended, he asks one of his servants to bring liquor to his room. He has a feeling to drink tonight, to ease his mind after such conversation with his Generals. In his room, he sits on his chair, the moonlight shines through the windows glimmering upon the surface of his liquor. He puts down his cup after drinks four cup, over his capacity where he starts to feel buzzed, thinking back to what happened today. He thinks everything start to become a mess when Geun Tae starts talking the matters about woman around him. No, maybe since Joo Doh mentioned about ‘the girl in Awa’. Joo Doh and two of his subordinates who come with him to Awa at that time don’t know, no one except him and Yona know that ‘the girl in Awa’ is Yona. Really, no one can know about it.

One more drink before he thinking about Joon Gi who tries to offer his daughter, Lady An Lily to him as his spouse, many times in fact. Like it or not, he should confess it. The main reason of why he hasn’t had a single woman by his side till now, because in fact he hasn’t met woman who fit to be the Queen, he reasons to other people. Others woman than Yona (not the old ignorant princess Yona, but Yona who has become woman, but he knows this Yona is not going to be his, ever) who can capture his heart, as a man, as King. That’s it. Because when Geun Tae offers the help to find the girl he desires, it reminds him about the girl he desires. He only desires one girl, a woman who has she become, but he knows he can’t because when her heart belonged to him, he doesn’t even consider her as a woman _“Back then… I’m never gonna let you close to me even though you mean the most to me because why should I if in the end we can’t be together because we don’t stand a chance?”._

Thinking back to that fateful night, when she witnessed her father’s death, he thought _‘this is the end… good bye, Yona’_.

He drinks one more cup, looking down to the reflection of his own features on the surface of his liquor that seen under the moonlight, the face of murderer of his love _“Our love story has ended even before it started. Because we don’t stand a chance, it’s sad but it’s true”._

He remembers, re-living happy memories before the fateful night when his betrayal happened. Her smile, how radiant and beautiful that was when she got that hairpin from him _“Maybe you would think it was supposed to be the beginning of our happiness when I gave that hairpin to you. Yes, it should. Just if you didn’t witness your father’s death, in my hands. I’m sure you’d think that I’m heartless and cold, but I guess I’m just protecting myself with always keeping the distance between us. Despite every time I open up, it hurt remembering how we would be separated. I know in the end you’d go with Hak and leave me alone. You gave everything, the warmth, happiness, your smile, your heart, but in the end, I returned nothing”._

No wonder his encounter with her after that become tense. Back when he met her in Awa, she has tried to take his sword but she doesn’t move after that. He has tried to touch her, but quickly stop himself because maybe she would slap him instead _“Maybe, I’m way too good at goodbyes”._

Next close encounter with her in Sensui at the water tribe, Hak has tried to kill him but Hak’s new comrades stop him, even if in the end Yona who has stopped him. In the end, she has chosen Hak. She has stopped Hak, not for him, but for Hak. He laughs bitterly, laughing at himself severely with dark tone, remembering of how cold that eyes when she looks at him which usually gave him smile with her childish yearning features, also how terrifying his former ‘right hand’ has become when he seriously tried to kill him.

He brings his hand up to cover his eyes, blinking away his tears at re-surfacing painful memories “ _what did I hope from you back then? I’m not deserve even a single thing of her. Not after what I did to her. I deserve that, if I will die in his hands. But there's no way that both of you’ll see me cry”._

**Author's Note:**

> Why am I writing this from the first place? this is my limit, I hope this will satisfy someone who request this


End file.
